Thoughtful, considerate feedback is one of the best gifts we can give those we care about.

Recently I’ve been working my way through Julie Zhuo’s excellent book The Making of a Manager. In Chapter Four: The Art of Feedback, she discussed the phrase “Feedback is a Gift.” This phrase is featured on posters throughout the Facebook campus as it is an important part of how they work together. Its really stuck with me as I’ve been unpacking it in my mind.

I think that simple expression is profoundly relevant and has the power to inform and change how we work together.

Starting with a spirit of gratitude

The best feedback starts with a spirit of gratitude. Within the UX design process, there should be a great deal to show gratitude for. Gratitude for the individuals who will build the application. Gratitude for the people who will eventually use the product. And most importantly, gratitude for the person doing the hard work of solving the problem in which you are providing input.

The opposite of this is feedback as criticism. This doesn’t necessarily come from a place of wanting to cut that other person down. More commonly it comes from a desire to get affirmation for ourselves. It is an easy opportunity to see the perceived shortcoming of someone else (especially another designer) as the chance to show off our own amazing ideas. We are all guilty of it. And we have all been on the negative side of it as well.

The feedback might be the same, but when it comes from a place of gratitude it probably feels and sounds differently. It is stated with words that are more easily considered because there is care for the recipient of that information. It also creates a more open dialogue. Rather than the focus of showing everyone what good feedback we have, that energy is diverted into other things like understanding the problem better, considering the designer’s perspective, and having a constructive back and forth that might lead to other good ideas.

Gifting feedback is hard

Diving into someone else’s problem seeking a deep understanding is really hard. Particularly in a design review setting where there is minimal time for context and dialogue. It is tempting to dole out trite advice or focus on the nuances of the design. Sometimes, having a more objective person provide broad observations or a detailed-oriented designer nit-pick the details provides unique value. But good feedback should always be framed by the needs of the person presenting the work. So its often useful to start by asking the simple question “what kind of feedback do you need?”

As with most things we do as UX designers, it starts with empathy.

Empathy is an integral part of being an effective UX designer. Here at ACST, it is one of the most important things we look for when we interview potential new designers. Typically we consider empathy in terms of the person using the product we are designing. But providing feedback as a gift is as much about empathizing with the problem solver as it is the end user.

For some designers, there’s a degree of fear putting yourself out there. We give feedback knowing that it might not be accepted. The problems we solve are complex. And the timing and approach to giving feedback needs to fit the person receiving the information.

For those in design leadership who have the mandate to help the design team mature and grow, there are plenty of times when gifting feedback might not be seen as providing value from the recipient’s perspective. Not all feedback is welcome, but all the more reason to wrap it in care and empathy so it can be more readily received. Also, as a leader, there are times to live this by graciously receiving feedback from your team, even when is unsolicited.

Yes, gifting feedback is hard. But we as UX designers do hard work every day. And empathizing and caring for our fellow designers makes all our work better.

The virtuous cycle

A community that cares for each other by gifting feedback is characterized by learning and professional growth. It is also a more fulfilling place to be. Within this dynamic, everyone has the opportunity to both serve and lead the community of practice. As they gain experience and learn from their own work, they share and learn from those around them.

Everyone learns much more together than working alone. This creates the virtuous cycle of learning and growth that most companies (and employees) desire. Thoughtful, considerate feedback is one of the best gifts we can give those we care about.